So, I'm going to preface this by saying that I don't have a sleep schedule. Well, that's not quite right... I have one, but it's kind of dogwater. In terms of sleep length, I get a healthy average of about 9 hours a day. It's just that I typically go to sleep at, like, 2, more often 3 AM, and tend to wake up around 11-12 PM. I know, it sounds kind of miserable, and while I won't say it is, I'll readily admit it really should be. Funnily enough, at the time of writing this, it's a quarter to 11 AM, and I've been up for hours. Cause, well, I'm actually sick right now, and despite it being November, we still have a few mosquitoes and other flying beezy-buzzers or whatever. The mosquitoes in this house are unbelievably rude, they fly up to your ear at night to keep you up and just generally be annoying. So a mix of all of that led me to wake up at 6 AM today, and after that I just couldn't get back to sleep, I always struggle in finding sleep. So, at that point, I was awake long before anyone should be. And my mind was just full of these, weird... downright incomprehensible thoughts. I'm not sure how to even begin describing them, they felt like they didn't belong to me. So, I was just sitting there in bed, listening to music to calm down, and by the time my mind was in it's right mind, it was 7... Yeah, I wasn't going to find sleep. So after that, I turned off my music and was just sort of lying in bed, trying to get some more mild rest. And, eventually, I begin to hear this kind of plastic scraping, coming from... somewhere. I absolutely hate it whenever I hear scraping noises, and can't tell where they're coming from. My mind always defaults to "Spider under the bed" or something like that, and then my mood is just irrecoverable. Usually, however, the sound just fades away and stops. Maybe it was, say, just a neighbor moving some furniture. But this time, after 10, 15 seconds, the noise did nothing but get louder and louder. At that point, I went full panic mode, my eyes were darting all around the room, until eventually, they landed on the source. A small, solar bobblehead desktoy of a bear, which was, naturally, on my desk. It was doing its thing and, well, bobbling.

For context, I'm writing this ramble in November, 2022. I got this bear in January 2021. We were in Bulgaria, for my sister wanted to travel somewhere for her birthday, and due to restrictions at that time, Bulgaria was basically the only choice. Though, seeing as it was a slavic country in January, it was freezing cold outside, so we didn't do much exploration. While we were out, we saw him in a shop window, where he was moving in full swing, and we just got him as an impulse purchase. Basically, the pedestal he stands on is solar activated, and when the sun hits, he'll automatically begin jiggling and dancing for as long as the sun continues to shine on him. Of course, he'll also dance for a bit if you just give him a flick with your finger, but that only lasts a minute or so. When we got back from the trip, I tried to put him on my desk, but due to how I had my room set up, literally no sunlight would have fallen on him. My desk was also extremely cluttered, so eventually I just, put him into some box or another and stowed him away. To the cold, cramped dust. Where the world paused.

Recently, though, I got a new, much bigger desk and cleaned out my old stuff. When I found him again, I decided to put him back here, because even when dormant, he's cute. Going back to the moment, which as of writing this, was earlier today, yeah. This beam of sunlight poured in through the window just perfectly, illuminating my desk right where he was standing. It only lasted maybe two minutes, but still. I was so utterly terrified when I heard the squeaking getting louder, and the moment I saw him, it left me laughing at myself. As the sun moved away from his spot, and he began to slow, I realized that ever since I put him back, he's probably done this every single day. I just never was present there to see him, dancing for a sweet, serene moment. Not to anyone else, but himself. That made me laugh a little more.

All of this has been a very long winded way to say, appreciate the small moments in life, the delicacy in everything, the beautiful detail. Some of you may be outraged that I went through all this build-up just to say that, and I can tell why. This moment just struck me as incredible, and special. Who knows. Maybe someone else will find meaning in it. That's about all I wanted to say.